(Part 1 of 2)

I have been asked a lot how I keep a positive outlook, how I see the bigger picture, how I maintain balance, how I continue to support and invite a new way of thinking...So I want to share a little more vulnerability and transparency today...to allow us to understand something most teachers guides and leaders of this thing called self discovery and life won't really dive into...

I am not always this person. I strive to be her but in the end I am having the human experience as much as anyone.

The difference is not in my ability to rise above or spiritually explain or even see a bigger picture.

In fact there is no difference between my walk in this world and yours...well...that may not be entirely true...but the point I'm trying to make is that I'm not that different than you in so many ways.

I have had massive heartbreak and I have been found lying on the floor chewing on the fringe of the carpet on more than one occasion.

I have lost all my financial security (all of it) twice.

I have lived in my car

I have gained and lost and gained and lost in a rollercoaster of fury

I have experienced abandonment, childhood trauma, physical and mental and emotional abuse

I drank myself into oblivion and escapism

I ate myself into a foggy ambivalent separation from self love

I angered my way through my 30's

and part of my 40's

I went into the dark spaces of all the layers of existence not just in this lifetime ( if you believe in more than this one)

I hurt people...I hurt myself...

I did all those things...

Here's what I have also done...

I have maintained a strong desire to lead

to teach

to create

to inspire

to grow

to learn

to be happy

to expand

Here's what maybe does make me a little different.

I don't exactly operate or experience the world in the same ways as many

I do have gifts I came with

I do have some understandings that might be different

I came in with a lot of gifts

I know stuff...kinda beyond the normal

I identify as starseed ( which is one difference ) I seldom talk about

But....none of that matters...and here's why

You do too

(to be continued. . .)